ambivalence

If I turn away from you
convince myself to dream anew
If I escape from your hold
adopt new light to see as true

Will it make me full?
Will it surrender or repeat?

It's hard to change you
ambition of young age
Are you a empowering promise or regrettable ideal?
Who can tell and who can predict?

Years have passed
Full life, complete emotions
But I'm still there... small
When does it end?
When will it change?
I'm still there... helpless

Mind games reassuring but sparingly discouraging
Pressing me down only to lift me up...
it's exhausting!
When will you set me free?

It's been a long time since I was last there
up high, the city a miniature inviting to dive into
reality just dust the wind blows away
Where did it all go?
Did I dream that place up?

One step before the stage
great allurement, ambition's confirmation
but I turn on me
It's the actuality of awareness
Self destructive impulse or innate fear?

Just as I once again quail
It comes shattering back up
I will stand my ground!
I look straight and never admit

I watch the silently disapproving faces
And then I know...
the alternative is devastating, I must withstand
Then again, am I weak to escape or strong enough to endure?
Will this ambivalence ever stop?

torn

unspoken they fiddle my mind
as the night comes again
images pinned in my thoughts
I want to run to you so far away

all the indecisions, scattered pieces
what is the truth I pursue?
promises upheld, vows broken
what truth should I pursue?
lie for truth or be true for a lie

betrayed, I stand forgiving
beloved, I slowly turn away
please don't cry...
I've always been here for you

torn by two loves
which is the path I follow?
new beginnings erase the past
which path should I follow?
torn by love in two

now that I found you
confident I reach out
please don't go...
I want to be here for you

with dry tears I say farewell
living our dreams in the past
close your eyes to see
tranquil I say welcome

regret

moments of loneliness
moments of fear
a look through the cracks
a glimpse of what could have been

your beauty astonishes me
the remnant of a man
incapable to speak
can't claim what should have been

welcoming times of solitude
forever alone at a higher state
too many details, too many facts
an insatiable mental vortex

radiant you are before my eyes
ecstatic disbelief of ones own self
runaway dreams of a false reality
risk what's great or follow the dream?

regret's the bitch that comes late
I should have risked it all!
Emotional thief the reality check
but... the beat goes on.

πορεία

Η νύχτα πάλι απλώνεται μπροστά μου
κι εγώ μονάχος ταξιδεύω
νιώθω μικρός στις σκέψεις μου
στον άταχτο συρφετό που καταφεύγω

Παιχνίδια παίζει το μυαλό
με αναμνήσεις και σχέδια αλλοτινά
Σας σκέφτομαι μονάχος στο γιαλό
κάνοντας νέα όνειρα παντοτινά

Το παρελθόν με ζώνει
ανούσιο κατάλυπο μιας άλλης στιγμής
Στη φυλακή του με κλειδώνει
Απουσία δικής μου πυγμής

Ζωές που πέρασαν
με άλλους φίλους, με άλλες αγκαλιές
Μια σταθερά οι πίκρες που με γέλασαν
σαν φάρσες φαίνονται οι πιο παλιές

Το σώμα μου, στο σώμα σου, που λιώνεις
Μα τώρα η θύμησή σου στεναγμός
Καρδιά μου τι κι αν μετανιώνεις;
Στην άκρη της λογικής, παροξυσμός

Με μια απροσδιόριστη απόχρωση
νοητές σχέσεις δισταγμών.
Αναζητώντας τη λύτρωση
περιστασιακές απολαύσεις οργασμών

Μα δεν τελειώνει η ιστορία μας εδώ
Μπροστά τα όνειρά μας πλοηγός
Σε άλλους τόπους θα σας ξαναδώ
δε θα είμαι εγώ, μα ένας άλλος εαυτός

Αράδες γράφω να εκφράσω
Όσα δεν μπορώ με πράξεις να ξεχάσω
Στο όνομά σου τέχνη παραδίδω
την ψυχή μου και... ξεδίδω

break free

numbers are not enough to explain you.
colors cannot reveal you.
the walls are crashing you down.
you need an open road.
a clear sky to let you fly.

melancholy in the eyes.
imprisoned by this bleakness.
break off.
break off the convention of your own self.

oh, you want to escape.
cry to the shiny moon and
break off.
break off the smallness of your own reality.

running till the end of your breath.
slipping through the railings.
it's so hard to get there.
it's even harder to be here.

you are still at the tip of my grasp.
at an arm's length distance.
so close you seem.
so impossible to reach.

fly away, I command you.
I'll be here to cheer.
you'll get to the end,
but it only matters when you close your eyes.

darkness falls.
playful thoughts are manifesting.
success, success, success!
it only matters when you close your eyes.